I’m feeding all the time. I was told this would help. Why doesn’t my baby settle?

If you’re a mum of a newborn feeding non stop, this might feel very familiar.

So many mums I meet have been told that feeding constantly is “newborn programming”.
That it’s normal for babies not to settle after feeds if they haven’t had enough milk.

There is some truth in that.
But it’s not the whole story.

“I’m demand feeding and was told this was normal until their nervous system matures.”
Again, there is truth there too.
But it’s only a small part of a much bigger picture.

What’s so disheartening is giving more than you honestly thought was possible, only to find that it doesn’t pay off or give you the result you so desperately need.

“I’ve tried feeding more often, baby wearing, responsive feeding.
All the things you’re told will help your baby feel secure enough to settle after feeds.
But the more I do, the more breastfeeding exhausted I feel and nothing seems to change.”

“I feel like my best isn’t good enough.
I’m exhausted and my baby just won’t be put down, always wants to feed, and I can’t keep going.
I’m really considering just bottle feeding at this point.”

If you’re feeding constantly but things still feel off, and nothing you were told to do is actually helping, it’s usually a sign that something isn’t working and that you may be trying to fix the wrong problem.

I hope that feels reassuring.

Because if you want to keep breastfeeding your baby, there is a way to get things back on track.

More feeds don’t automatically lead to a more settled baby.
More milk and better satisfaction do.

Constant feeding without feeling satisfied doesn’t need more feeding.
It needs something different to break the dissatisfied feeding cycle.

More feeds but no settling doesn’t need more feeds.
It often means your baby needs help calming and pacing so everyone’s nervous system can settle.

And frequent feeding that doesn’t lead to sleep usually tells us that your baby is tired, not that they need more feeding.

Demand feeding, responsive feeding, and attachment led parenting are all valuable approaches.
But there are moments when feeding isn’t what your baby needs most.

You’ve often seen this first hand.

Constant feeding doesn’t always help.
It’s a clue that something is not working.

When feeding feels confusing like this, I don’t look at one thing in isolation.
I step back and look at the whole picture.
Mum, baby, milk flow, feeding rhythm, and how all of these interact together.

That’s usually where clarity starts.

If this feels familiar, I’ll be sharing more soon about the Messy Breastfeed Reset — a calm, practical way of helping mums understand what’s actually going on when feeding isn’t working the way it should.

You may also find these posts helpful if you’re trying to make sense of feeding that isn’t settling:

– Sore nipples even though latch looks good
– Why pumping made feeding feel harder

If you want more posts like this, you can follow me on Instagram @geraldinemiskin.

I’m Geraldine Miskin, a breastfeeding and newborn feeding specialist and the creator of the 4 Pillars of Breastfeeding Mastery and the MumBo (mum and baby combination) approach. My work focuses on helping mums understand feeding patterns, milk transfer, and settling by looking at the whole picture rather than isolated advice.